The Kingdom of God

Today is the 40th day I have been struggling with the side effects of an antibiotic called Ciprofloxacin. It left me with neurological issues in the muscles in my legs, arms, and chest and swelling in my joints which has made walking difficult and at times impossible.  I have been in constant pain for 40 days and have discovered the hard way that pain killers and muscle relaxers intensify my pain so I have had to seek something other than medicine for relief. But the news of praise to God is that I am improving.

Prayer has played a significant role in my ongoing recovery. I have spent lots of time begging God for healing and relief through prayer. I have been humbled as many people, for whom I am grateful, have lifted me up in prayer. And I was encouraged as the elders anointed me with oil and prayed for God's blessing of healing upon me.

Dealing first hand with what is probably the most serious health issue I have ever had to face left me with with lots of time flat on my back to think and pray and gripe and ponder. In this process I was drawn into consideration of our Hope in Christ and the Kingdom of God. 

Throughout Jesus' ministry he talked about the Kingdom of God. Over and again he would tell about the Kingdom of God. But what exactly is the Kingdom of God?... It is a reality in which God is in charge. It is a reality that currently exists in the hearts of those who believe and accept the message of salvation but that will some day grow to be all encompassing.  It appears that throughout the gospels Jesus is trying to give us a glimpse into what our reality will look like when the Kingdom of God has been fully revealed and implemented. This is our Hope in Christ.

What we see of the Kingdom of God through Jesus ministry on earth is incredible... healing flows freely to anyone who is hurt or injured; food is abundant and good, the focus of life is upon the good of others- not our own self focused interest, nature works with us- not against us...  

Right now we live between the resurrection of Christ and the end of this age when Christ returns. Until the end of this age those that pass from this life go to wait for the resurrection with God. At the time only known to God this age will come to an end which will culminate in our resurrection to a new physical resurrection body in a new heaven and earth where God reigns. I can't wait to experience life in the Kingdom of God- life that is free of pain, tears, hunger, evil, death, and decay.

When we realize where our Hope in Christ is leading there is reason to get excited and to tell others around us about how cool this all is. But we currently live in a world that is damaged by sin. We live in a culture that has falsely believed we can create a utopia here on earth through our own efforts. We have believed that through science or laws or social engineering we can continuously improve life here on earth. The problem is that these things become a god that we worship above the Lord God Almighty.

Jesus spent his time in ministry on this earth proclaiming the Kingdom of God and encouraging everyone to seek first God's Kingdom. It isn't that God intentionally made His Kingdom hard to find or that He has intentionally created a set of entry requirements so difficult that very few will make it. Instead we realize that sin and the entanglements of this world that is currently ruled by the evil one intentionally work to obscure God and deceive us from the truth of Hope in Christ.

I have been amazed at how quickly my mind has been able to jump from optimism and hope in God to despair and temptation to let God out of my sights. Living through 40 days of pain is nothing compared to some people who have endured health problems for years and years but my 40 days experience of disability has given me new insight into the mental challenge that people struggling through extended illness must wrestle with.

This brings to mind the importance of Jesus' focus in his ministry on earth to spread the message of the Kingdom of God. We have to remember the Hope to which Jesus calls us. We have to realize that we will not find fulfillment and perfection in this life. We have to trust that God will correct all wrongs in His Kingdom, not in this life. And we have to encourage each other when this evil world closes in around our heart and our mind and our body.

Jesus came to this earth for just a moment and said let me give you a taste of life in the Kingdom of God. He said try out some healing, experience compassion, absorb mercy, indulge abundant food and drink, watch in awe as nature works with you. You know what?! I'm in. I like what I saw and I want more. I want an eternity of life in God's Kingdom.

However my temptation is to try to create my own happy kingdom. If I am unhappy I quickly try to jump and find something to renew my happiness. I will buy something to make me happy. I will do something to make me happy. I will watch something to entertain me. Or I will take medicine with risks of significant side effects at the drop of a hat to make me feel better. The problem is that there are consequences to all of these actions. There are entanglements that develop and it is these entanglements that can be used by the evil one to obscure our ability to see God and His Kingdom.

Over the last 40 days the Holy Spirit has very faithfully continued to draw my mind back to thinking about God's Kingdom.... Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

What to Say to Someone Who Is Or Has Been Sick

Experience is sometimes the best teacher and over the last few weeks I have had an experience that has made me realize an important nuance of how we greet someone who has a health condition. I am in the midst of an ongoing neurological muscular problem that has made it almost impossible for me to walk. As of today I am 32 days into this problem and based upon my rate of recovery and what I have seen from other people who have suffered with similar problems I would guess I have a multi month recovery process ahead of me.

The odd part about my health condition is that some days I am able to be up and some days I am stuck flat of my back. This has produced a natural confusion among people who see me on my up days who make an assumption that since I am upright I must be all better now. The interaction usually goes something like this... 'You are walking again, GREAT! I'm glad to see you are all better.' The first few times this type of exchange occurred it left me with a weird feeling that was kind of repulsive. It took me a while before I realized why this exchange had been discouraging instead of encouraging- the person was not asking how I was doing, they wanted to read into the situation that I was doing better when in fact I was not.

We like perfection. We like health. We don't like illness and pain. Our culture is dedicated to preventing pain and illness. We want people to be healthy and are not sure how to react when someone is not ok. Consequently we tend to read our wishes onto their life instead of actually seeing how they are doing.

So... When you talk to someone who is or has been ill, don't make an assumption about how they are doing or try to make sense of why they have been ill because when you do this you are focused upon yourself, not the other person. Instead ask a question and let them respond. If you don't have time for this type of interaction the best thing you can say is "I'm so glad to see you."

Cipro Side Effects Journal

Cipro Side Effects Journal

This is out of the norm of what I write about in this blog but I am going to use this space to document the side effects I have had from taking a round of Ciprofloxacin because it has had such an impact on every part of my life. It began with a case of diverticulitis in February, 2013...

• Day 1- February 15, 2013; Began taking Ciprofloxacin,an antibiotic, for diverticulitis which was causing severe abdominal pain. I also began taking a prescription muscle relaxer to help with the pain.
• Day 3- Took the last dose of muscle relaxer in the morning. By late afternoon I was having symptoms that I attributed to withdrawal from the muscle relaxer- I felt droopy and worn out.  
• Day 4- Feeling better from abdominal pain but I was still feeling droopy overall which I attributed to the muscle relaxer. 
• Day 6- Noticed that I was unable to cross my legs because it made my hips feel like they were about to pop out of joint but didn't think much about it other than noting that  it was unusual. 
• Day 7- I had been planning to take a day to get away and pray for an entire day so I drove to the Texas coast and spent the day in prayer. 
• Day 9- Saturday February 23, 2013; I took my morning dose of Cipro and decided to stop. During the middle of the day I noted that my legs were feeling droopy like I would expect after a 50+ mile bike ride but I had done almost nothing all week. 
• Day 10- Sunday February 24, 2013; In my normal Sunday routine I arrived at the church building around 7:45 AM and began walking around the building getting things ready and checking on people. Midway through 1st service I realized that my legs felt like I had lactic acid but I had not exercised so I was confused as to what was happening. By the time Bible class began my legs were so sore that I went to my office to sit down and rest. I sat there for about 15 minutes massaging my legs but the pain continued to increase. Michelle was at Soul Link with the youth group so I was supposed to take Mally to work and then come back to the church building for the rest of 2nd service. However I was hurting so bad that I decided to take her a bit early and then go home. I was surprised walking out to the car that my legs were hurting so bad that it was causing me to limp. Once home I got in bed and the pain continued to increase. By mid afternoon however it had localized into my left leg. It occurred to me that I had read in the side effects of the antibiotic a statement about causing tendon problems. Upon reading the side effects brochure and additional information on the computer I became nauseous realizing my leg problems were from the antibiotic. By bed time my left leg had begun to hurt so bad that I could barely even touch my leg. 
• Day 11- By morning my leg was so sore it was absolutely all I could do to get dressed, hobble to the kitchen to get my keys and get in the car to take Makai to school. I had discovered Sunday evening that cipro had removed magnesium from my system and numerous people who had also had side effects from cipro strongly suggested you immediately begin taking magnesium supplements so on the way back home from dropping Makai off at school I stopped by Walgreens to get some. However I was having so much trouble walking because my left leg kept trying to go into a deep cramp that I had to use a grocery cart as a walker to get me into the store and back to the car. Once back at home my left leg was in almost continuous spasms on the verge of going into a deep cramp and one muscle in particular was in severe pain- it felt like I had lactic acid build up times a thousand. I had never felt such sever muscle pain. Later in the day my medical doctor suggested I take magnesium, potassium, calcium and take warm baths. My doctor also suggested he could order muscle relaxers but I decided not to take them because I realized if I was not able to feel the warning signs my muscles were communicating to me via pain I might end up tearing or rupturing a tendon. My doctor did order a prescription for a pain relief ointment which would come in the mail. I spent most of the day laying in bed praying and begging God for relief and healing. Everything I was reading said that I was not supposed to use any muscles or tendons that were having symptoms as a result of Cipro. In the midst of all this I had to cancel a Stephen Ministry training session that had been scheduled that I was supposed to teach at.
• Day 12- I emailed my staff at the church office telling them this was my worst day so far. There was severe pain and spasms all day long. Spent most of the day trying to relax because my brain was running away with the idea that I was ruined. I probably prayed for 8-10 total hours! I also noticed that every time I got up my feet, knees, and hips were popping like crazy. As I continued to research I discovered that apparently Cipro removes all of the magnesium from your system so that it can adhere to your cell receptors. Muscles and bones use magnesium so this depletion of magnesium causes sever problems in some people.
• Day 13- The pain in my left leg was not quiet as intense as it had been the day before so I was trying to get a few things done around the house. As I bent over my left leg went into a severe cramp that I could not get to stop. I ended up stuck in a chair in the family room for 2 or 3 hours. I was unable to take Makai to school and had to call Michelle to come home and help. 
• Day 15- The pain in my left leg was not as intense but the muscle spasms and popping joints continued. However my left hip began to ache and hurt whenever I tried to stand. I spent part of the day watching the Verge Conference in Austin which I had reservations to attend but had to cancel.
• Day 16- I spent part of the day watching the Verge Conference in Austin.  I decided to try and push things in the afternoon so I spent about an hour hobbling around the kitchen cooking some chicken. By the time I was done my hip began having severe pain that was especially intense any time I tried to stand so I was back flat of my back in bed for the evening and next day which gave me alot of time to think. It occurred to me that my reaction to Cipro was not a case of poisoning because if I had been poisoned then everyone who took Cipro would be poisoned but they are not- I had talked to numerous people who in travels overseas had taken cipro almost like candy. This led me to begin to considering the possibility that my reaction to Cipro was more of an allergic reaction. If so this might mean a treatment I had in 2000 to eliminate a series of food allergies would be able to address my problems with cipro. The treatments I had with an NAET practitioner in 2000 eliminated a series of food allergies I had which had literally gone ballistic after my experience with the Columbine High School shooting. By the summer of 2000 I was developing new food allergies every few weeks so that I was getting to where I could not eat much more than rice and chicken and water.
• Day 17- Sunday March 3, 2013; The severe hip pain and inability for my hip to bear much weight continued along with leg spasms, and popping joints.
• Day 18- Monday March 4, 2013;  I started off the day making an appointment with an NAET practitioner in Houston. From previous experience I knew that it was important to be properly adjusted prior to NAET treatment so I managed to get in to my chiropractor with the help of Matthew and Mally. He told me that my atlas was significantly out of place which could have affected how my body processed the Cipro antibiotic. Immediately after the adjustment I was feeling the most relief I had felt to date but I still was having continuous muscle spasms in my left leg and pain in my left hip.
• Day 19- I visited the chiropractor again. The only thing he wanted to do was adjust my neck since my legs were having such spasms. His work from the previous day had helped me enough that I was able to walk into the office without help. 
• Day 20 Wednesday March 6, 2013;  I was feeling good enough that I pushed and made it into my office slowly, slowly walking from the parking lot to the building. I was able to be in the office about 30 or 45 minutes before my left leg started going into deep spasms. I tried to walk back out to my car but had to be pushed out to the car by wheelchair because I was completely unable to walk that distance. After lunch I had an appointment with an NAET practitioner who specializes in eliminating the body's reactive approach to various things. It was all I could do to make it from the parking garage to his office because my legs were in such deep spasms. As I spoke with him he felt very confident he could treat and help me overcome my reaction to Cipro. The treatment merges together a number of specialties including chiropractic, acupuncture, and  Chinese energy theories. He said that as we treated Cipro it would send a signal to my body to flush the Cipro from my system. He warned that as the Cipro flushed from my system that I would probably re-experience many of the Cipro symptoms. Using a muscle strength test he checked to see what my body was reacting to and confirmed it was reacting to Cipro in addition to magnesium. He said my bodies' inability to properly utilize magnesium would help explain why it was not doing much so far to help my muscles recover. The plan was to treat the Cipro followed by additional substances. The treatment was uniquely simple- while holding a vial of what is essentially concentrated Cipro he massaged my spine followed by acupuncture treatment. Within a couple of hours my muscle spasms had stopped enough that I was able to go to Wednesday night church.
•  Day 21- Thursday March 7, 2013; Thursday morning the only symptom I had was pain in my hips and muscles that felt like they might try to cramp if I exerted too hard so I was able to go into my office to work. I was able to walk into the office, work all morning, go to the chiropractor, go into a grocery store to get some lunch, and go back into the office after lunch and work all afternoon. The improvement after the NAET practitioner visit was dramatic. 
• Day 22- Friday March 8, 2013; Friday morning my legs tried to start cramping followed by some of the most severe stomach cramps I have had in years- way worse than the pain I had with the diverticulitis. These symptoms came and went within a 3-4 hour period. I had my second NAET visit where he said we were probably about halfway through treating me for Cipro. He warned that I would continue to experience Cipro symptoms off and on for a couple of days. By evening my hip pain had increased but the muscle spasms were still gone. 
• Day 23- Saturday March 9, 2013; Hip pain continued all day so I stayed off my feet for most of the day. By evening the hip pain had become troublesome enough that I decided to try the pain relief cream at bedtime my medical doctor had ordered for me which had come via UPS earlier in the week.
• Day 24- Sunday March 10, 2013; I awoke with the most severe hip pain I have had so far. My leg muscles felt tight but the problem was in my hips. I was barely able to walk because of the pain. One thing I had found helpful was to read through other people's blogs who were experiencing Cipro side effects to see what symptoms they were and were not having. Midway through the day I ran across a blog that had a conversation about how some Cipro sufferers had discovered that they were getting an almost reverse reaction when they took pain relief medicines which may mean the pain relief cream I applied Saturday evening could be my hip pain culprit. Later in the evening I spent some time carefully stretching my leg muscles and taking a hot bath and experienced some pain relief by the time I went to bed. This just firmed up my decision to avoid pain relievers of any type- I have not taken anything including Advil or Ibuprofen other than the prescription muscles relaxer and the pain relief cream since prior to the start of Cipro- and interestingly enough both of these medicines seem to have produced bad side effects. Also in a crazy turn of events my chiropractor who I had been seeing for the last 9 years passed away over the weekend.
• Day 25- Felt better and was able to work part of the day however by lunch time I realized my left hip and upper leg were numb after having sat at my desk. The numbness took a couple of hours to subside. Went to a new chiropractor after lunch who did a full evaluation and confirmed there were muscular issues going on the left leg. His treatment helped. I was up the rest of the afternoon and evening with guests at our house. 
• Day 26- Tuesday March 12, 2013; Went to my medical doctor for an EKG due to chest pains on the left side of my chest. Sitting in the waiting room and then the exam room made me realize my left hip was very sore.  The EKG turned out fine. My doctor suspects the same thing causing muscular problems in my left leg is also causing problems in the muscles in my chest. I tried various ways to sit after the doctor's office but the dull pain was intense enough that I was unable to sit for more than about 5 minutes. Had intense hip pain the rest of the day.
• Day 27- Wednesday March 13, 2013; Intense hip pain continued until my visit to the NAET practitioner. After my visit the hip pain subsided for the first time in a couple of weeks. I was able to be up doing things for the rest of the day. 
• Day 28- Muscles in left leg are so worn out from being up the previous day that I was down with fatigue and overworked muscles. 
• Day 29- Friday March 15, 2012; Moderate hip pain and muscle fatigue causing me to walk very slowly with a limp today. Had blood drawn testing for magnesium, calcium, potassium, muscle enzymes, vitamin D plus a few other things. Sold my road bike to cover medical expenses- I can tell based upon the rate I am improving that it will be a while before I am able to ride again. 
• Day 30 &31- Intense hip pain kept me off my feet the entire day. The farthest I could hobble was 15 or 20 feet. 
• Day 32- Monday March 18, 2013; Woke with less hip pain so I was able to walk carefully. Visited allergy doctor who confirmed the treatment on Friday March 15 probably triggered the hip pain over the weekend. Got back some of my blood test results which showed I was Vitamin D deficient. 
• Day 33- Tuesday March 19, 2013; Walking enough to get around but with very limited range before severe hip pain would start. Had to use a wheelchair to get to the Sugar Grove building addition ribbon cutting. Chiropractor appointment. 
• Day 34- Wednesday March 20, 2013; Walking with limited range due to hip pain. NAET appointment and chiropractor appointment. 
• Day 35- Thursday March 21, 2013; began having cramps and spasms in both arms. Very worn out when I got home at dinner time. Chriopractor appointment. 
• Day 36- Friday March 22, 2013; continued hip pain with more than about 5 minutes on my feet. continued arm and muscle spasms, my right arm kept cramping every time I used the computer mouse. Overall high level of fatigue. NAET and chiropractor appointment. The up side is that this is the 5th day in a row that I was not laid out flat of my back. 
• Day 37- Saturday March 23, 2013; Experienced sudden significant improvement in hip pain Saturday afternoon. 
• Day 38- Sunday March 24, 2013; Was finally able to attend church on Sunday morning. Everything went pretty well except I had alot of discomfort in my hip and back trying to sit for an hour. I was then able to be up all day Sunday. By Sunday evening my left leg had begun to burn with what felt like alot of lactic acid. 
• Day 39- Monday March 25, 2013; Chiropractor and NAET appointment. NAET practitioner treated for lactic acid with distinct improvements in my left leg after the treatment. 
• Day 40- Tuesday March 26, 2013; Did great all day but by Tuesday evening having lots of hip pain. 
• Day 41- Wednesday March 27, 2013; Had hip pain all night. Chiropractor and NAET appointment. NAET practitioner treated for Vitamin C and said that C is a culprit in joint pain. Have to avoid Vitamin C for 24 hours. Alot of hip pain and an upset stomach so spent the rest of the day on my back. 
• Day 42- Thursday March 27, 2013; Continuing hip pain. Almost passed out when I moved both legs wrong and felt like both hip joints were about to pop out of place. 
•  Day 43- Friday March 29, 2013; slight fatigue in leg muscles but was able to walk with very little problem all day. Began to develop a little bit of pain and cramping in right forearm. Had a preacher from Midland contact me and ask me to talk to one of his members who took Cipro and is having similar problems- this person is two and one half months into the journey and experiencing severe muscle, tendon, and joint problems in his arms, back, and Achilles tendon.
• Day 44- Saturday March 30, 2013; Was able to walk well enough that for the first time since this whole ordeal began I was able to go somewhere with the family for fun, went to hang out at the coast at Freeport. Walked about 1.5 miles to the end of a pier and back. Had to stop and rest a couple of times but managed to pull it off. Hurt hips a couple of times when I moved my legs from side to side- hip joint will only move forward and backward without intense pain. Right arm continued with spasms and cramping. Noticed that my oposable right thumb was not opposing! It would not let me put any pressure on it without pain.
• Day 45- Sunday March 31, 2013; Was able to walk enough that I was at both worship services at church. Had a great conversation with Jonathon O'Mally Sunday morning talking about how to endure ongoing pain. My right arm continued to cramp and hurt. By late afternoon my muscles were beginning to feel fatigued and I had started developing muscle tremors in my lower back and around my tail bone. I also made the mistake a few times of moving my leg side to side which caused momentary intense pain in my hip like it was coming out socket.
• Day 46- Monday April 1, 2013; Had Makai home from school with me. Went to chiropractor appt and then ran a couple of errands with Makai. By 10:30 AM I was having muscle spasms in my left leg, lower back, around my tail bone, right forearm, and right hand but the hip pain had not returned so I was still able to walk at a slower pace but overall it was a rough day.
• Day 47- Tuesday April 2, 2013; Had arm, hand, lower back, hip & tail bone, and left leg tremors and cramps throughout the night and up into the day. The symptoms that exist now are completely different than what existed a week ago which is why I am now being able to walk. There is still hip pain but it is a different kind of numb pain instead of the intense pain that magnified to a point of being unbearable with walking.
• Day 48- Wednesday April 3, 2013; Cramps and spasms in right arm and left leg. Left leg cramps severe enough that I could barely walk. Allergy treatment for minerals including magnesium which is important in muscle and nervous system function and which the Cipro antibiotic disrupted in my body. Therefore I am anxious to see if this will provide some continued improvement.
• Day 49- Thursday April 4, 2013; Right forearm cramping with use. Left achilles tendon stiff and hurting. Around 5 PM the muscle cramping stopped and the pain in my left thumb joint stopped.
• Day 50- Friday April 5, 2013; woke up feeling great able to walk at a full stride with no symptoms. Chiropractor visit and NAET visit treating minerals. Felt great until late in the evening when I started getting some muscle pain in my lower back and left hip.
• Day 51- Saturday April 6, 2013; Day began rough and progressively got worse. Right arm cramping, right thumb pain in the joint with any use, left leg muscle spasms and cramps in every muscle from the waist down, dull pain in the left hip, mild pain in the left achilles tendon which all increase exponentially after being up on my feet for more than about 5 minutes. Left hip develops dull pain after sitting for more than a couple of minutes. Remembered late in the day that the NAET guy warned that the Friday treatment could stir up some of the symptoms as my body detox's- he was right.

this journal is now being updated on a new page: http://timshoulders.blogspot.com/p/cipro-side-effects-journal.html