Prayer

Sometimes God places things on my heart that don't go away until I have responded. This was the case in 2007 when he began placing upon my heart the conviction to go back to Russia and adopt children one more time which came to happen in 2009. Well... God has been placing something upon my heart for a number of months, a conviction that we as the Sugar Grove church need to be praying far more than we are. He has placed upon my heart that we need to be praying about where we are going as a church as well as praying about one another. 

Often when God is trying to get my attention he does so by giving me an unsettled feeling and I have had this feeling for a number of months now. What is frustrating is that I recognize God is up to something but I still don't completely understand what it is that God is trying to tell me. All I know is that it has been strongly upon my heart that we need to pray. 

We need to pray for one another because members at Sugar Grove are facing a seemingly unprecedented number of challenges. In fact I have been startled how it has seemed for the last 18 or so months that our members have been facing far more than the normal level of unforeseen problems. It is as if a spiritual battle has been unleashed against us. We need to be praying for and over and with each other. 

We need to pray for the church as a whole and where God is taking us. God has been leading a portion of the Sugar Grove leadership to begin to recognize that church is more than just attendance at an event on a Sunday morning.  

A few weeks ago it popped in my head that it would be cool to reverse how we do an invitation on a Sunday morning. Instead of having a few people wait down front for anyone that might decide to come down for prayers we ought to have teams of people that allow the Holy Spirit to guide them during the 'invitation' to seek out people to pray with. 

I understand that before my time Wednesday nights were prayer meetings- times that the church would get together simply to pray. Maybe we need times together where in an unplanned fashion we simply pray allowing whomever the Spirit leads to lift up prayers to God and pray over people and pray for God's guidance as a church. 

The bottom line is that we (I, you, us) are not spending enough time in prayer!

What Is Church?

We tend to live a significantly compartmentalized life. We have school, family, recreation, work, and church. We don't bring work home. We do our homework so we can go play. When we go play we leave everything else behind. Where does church fall in all of this? It's what we do when we aren't in school, with family, playing, or working. 

To be a better Christian we go to church every Sunday and find something the church is doing to participate in. Many of us grew up learning that the highlight of what the church does is focused on Sunday morning where we worship and learn about God. We have been taught that to be a good Christian we show up and participate in a worship service or a class or a potluck. If we really want to be a super good Christian we will lead in a worship service or teach or organize a potluck. Every so often we will even go out on mission to serve or tell others about Jesus or to be the ultimate Christian we will lead a mission effort. 

We have figured out ways to be more focused in worship and to increase the depth of our learning. In fact some churches have so highly perfected their worship services and learning about God that people flock from all around to go to church there. 

We have even spent the last few years perfecting small groups meeting over the hills and through the woods learning to care for one another. These have provided Christ centered relationships that have sustained us through life. We have learned to care and connect with one another.

But... something seems to be missing. 

We thought for a while that if we would simply do more and more church things we would achieve perfection but we realized this was simply our American addiction to activity and action being interpreted as spirituality. 

We have thought that if we would build it they would come, if we develop the most amazing programs and get our name out in the community the crowds of people would come, and they did, but something is still missing. 

Could it be that church is more and different than we have imagined? Could it be that church is not simply a place you go to participate? Could it be that church is not simply about us and we? Could it be that church is not supposed to be religious? Could it be that the focus of church is not simply to worship God and learn more about him?  Could it be that church is not supposed to match a specific pattern and look the same everywhere you go? 

Could it be that church should be associated with radical life transformation- discipleship? 

Could it be that church should be dynamically led by the Holy Spirit so that it played itself out differently in every community and people group around the globe? Could it be that church should be about being the light of God in every community and people group around the globe? 

Could it be that church should be going to people instead of waiting for people to come to church? Could it be that the mission of the church involves every moment of every person's life? Could it be that church and Christianity one in the same simply describe people living the entirety of their ever changing life led by the Holy Spirit to be an ambassador for God in all that they do and say? Could it be that it is far more important to connect with the people around us on a daily basis for God instead of organizing special occasional events to reach out to people? 

What would happen if we weighed every encounter with another human being by asking God if this is a person He led us to be a light toward? How might that change how we treat our coworkers, our neighbors, our friends, and the other people we interact with every day? 

What would happen if instead of assuming we know what we are supposed to do and say to be a messenger for God when we encounter another human being we started by asking the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts and actions and feelings? 

One of the things that weighs heavy upon my heart is how arrogant we are. We think we have figured out God, we think have figured out church, and we think we have figured out the Bible. Instead of teaching people to be reliant upon God and the leading of His Holy Spirit we teach people to be confident that we know what to and what to say and what to think and how to act. We plan and act and speak and think and feel without seeking God's counsel. 

Perhaps being church and a Christian means we quiet down and humbly seek God's guidance and stay quiet so we can hear the gentle voice of His Holy Spirit. 

Church is without a doubt changing, that is good, because maybe we are learning, again, to let God be in charge by ceding power on our part. 

Church is a group of people on a journey together toward a promised land reaching out along the way to help as many as possible to join this journey toward the land God has promised. 

Racism

I grew up with an awesome grandfather. He could build anything. He could solve any problem. He could tell stories like no other. It was just a minor wrinkle that he smoked so much that he died from emphysema, he drank so much that he permanently smelled of alcohol, and he never saw a black person who he did not call the n word.

I grew up in a world quiet different from the world my grandfather grew up in. He was born just around the time of  World War 1 and grew up in a very segregated society. I grew up in an inner city neighborhood in Fort Worth and attended schools that were racially diverse. My friends at school were white, latino, black, asian, middle eastern, and who knows what else.

I remember the first time I began to realize that my world view was significantly different than my grandfather's when he picked me up from middle school when I was in 6th grade. I jumped up into his '73 orange and white Chevy truck and he began to go on and on about how many n...'s there were at my school and making sure I knew how worthless they were. I remember not knowing what to say because I loved my grandfather but I was also shocked he was assigning a stereotypical value to everyone with dark skin at my school when I knew for a fact that some of the black kids were awesome while some of them were bad news just as was the case with my white, latino, asian, and middle eastern friends.  

Racism is assigning a stereotypical value to an entire group of people which typically denigrates that group allowing justification for inferior and inappropriate treatment. Traditionally we have associated racism as something done by a white person toward a black person as I observed at a church I served with in  in 2002 when an elder of that church told me how wonderful it was that my youth group had experienced dramatic growth but I needed to make sure the black teens didn't come to 'our' church but went to church across town because that's where 'their kind' went.

However we often forget that racism can flow in any direction.

My father was a public employee with the city of Fort Worth when I was growing up. We were dirt poor because of his job with the city. The goal within the city of Fort Worth at that time was to hire people based upon the color of their skin and the preferred color was black. Since my father was white he was bounced lower and lower within the ranks of city employees with consequent pay decreases. The only reason he stayed on his job was because he didn't have enough confidence to go find another job and he knew he would have good retirement benefits if he stuck it out. Consequently I have had an intuitive sense for most of my life that racism is something that can flow any direction.

But racism does not stop at the color of skin.

I have been shocked the last few years at the aggressive stance people are taking toward Christians and Christianity. I was reading a news story earlier this week and the comments at the end of the story contained people ranting about how Christianity needs to be stamped out because all it has brought us is the Crusades and Nazi killings. Let's not kid ourselves, coming to believe that all Christians are lunatic killers like the Nazi's is racism. In the same way belief that all Muslims are terrorists is also racism. We supposedly live in an enlightened culture but in reality all that is occurring is that we are switching racism from one group to another. It's a most confusing and challenging proposition to keep from becoming mired in the muck of racism or from allowing the pendulum to swing so far that in order to avoid racism we throw out all rational thought and discernment.

Racism is now no longer limited to beliefs but also behaviors.

Our culture has begun to view sexual issues as something in which discrimination can occur in ways that it did not do in previous generations. This stretches the idea of racism to be more than simply stereotyping people based upon race but upon behaviors as well.

The Christian response to sexual issues has traditionally been to reject any behavior that was understood as sinful and consequently to reject anyone who continued to engage in this sinful sexual activity. This stance in the past was accepted and/or tolerated by society but we are rapidly moving into a time period in which our society no longer is willing to allow Christians to reject someone based upon their behavior.

What is funny to me about the issue of the acceptance or rejection of sexual behaviors by Christianity is the manner in which it has been applied. There seems to be a different set of rules based upon whether something is public or private. Through the years I have observed that anyone in the church who publicly proclaims they are engaging in sexual behaviors that are not Biblically acceptable are condemned while anyone who privately engaged in these behaviors without public proclamation are viewed with an attitude that says we don't like it but it's ultimately between you and God. To illustrate, two of the churches I have worked with in the past knew of sexual behavior of a member that violated Biblical standards but was not publicly known. The response of the leaders of those churches was to take aggressive steps to keep that behavior secret (primarily to protect their own reputation), not to exclude that person or to work to bring about transformation in their behavior.

My hypothesis is that the tension being created in the Christian community today about accepting certain sexual behaviors/lifestyles are actually centered around the desire for these lifestyles to be known in the public arena instead of being held in the private arena. In that sense nothing has changed because people, Christians and non Christians alike, have always engaged in behavior that was not accepted or acceptable. The reality is people, Christians and non Christians alike, will do what they want to do regardless of  what anyone says. Do we then exclude everyone except those who are living 'right'? Hmmm... If we reject everyone who is not living perfectly then ultimately every single person, both in the Christian community and outside the Christian community, would be excluded because none of us live perfectly. That is why Jesus Christ did what he did- we can't be good enough to redeem ourselves from sin, that's his job.

Perhaps there is no need for the Christian community to panic about the possibility of being accused of being  racist toward someone based upon their sexual orientation or practices. Perhaps instead of condemning people because they want to live a certain lifestyle publicly we treat them the same way we did when they lived that lifestyle privately- we offer them grace and mercy acknowledging their life is ultimately something that is between them and God. Perhaps we should stop thinking we are god and allow God to be God by trusting that the Holy Spirit will work in and through the lives of those that seek Him. Perhaps the Christian community should work to privately connect one one one with people, both Christian and non Christian alike,  allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts and actions and words to that person instead of speaking publicly a message of condemnation.  Perhaps racism in all of its various forms is a profoundly confusing problem indicating the evil one is actively at work bringing confusion to everyone- Christian and non Christian alike.
 

How I've Figured Out To Be An Introverted Christian

I am an introvert. On the Meyers Briggs I am an INFP.   My mother tells stories from when I was 3 or 4 of company coming to our house and I would turn up missing only to be found behind a chair hiding. From elementary school through college I would get so apprehensive about speaking in front of a group of people that I would get light headed and almost pass out. About 18 years ago I had a performance review as a youth minister which required me to say Hi to people in the church hallways on Sunday mornings. I am without a doubt an introvert.

As an introvert I relate very well to other introverts, I completely understand the pressure of living as an introvert in an extroverted world. I recently had an introverted friend recommend a book to me about introverts. It was an awesome book that explored how our culture has spent the last 100 years setting up the extrovert as the ideal person and the introvert as almost having a handicap. The book challenges the perception that introversion is a handicap by pointing out all that introverts have added to our culture. I loved the book!

However just as our culture has embraced an extrovert as the ideal person so too have our Christian churches embraced the idea that the ideal Christian is an extrovert. Perhaps a John the Baptist or Paul type who are gregarious and bold and into everything. In my first few years of youth ministry I worked around alot of other youth ministers who were the classic high energy pied piper style of extroverted youth minister while I was the quieter relational type of youth minister. I always felt as if I were a failure because of my quieter style. I would attempt to imitate the extroverted youth ministers but it would end with me becoming frustrated and angry.

However as time moved along I began to observe some startling things. A surprising number of the extroverted youth ministers crashed and burned emotionally, spiritually, and morally. For some their high energy was something that they were not able to maintain in the long run. For others their ego was stoked by the admiration of those they worked with which led a number of them to crash and burn. There were still others whose relationship with God was dependent upon things such as those around them and the energy of the Sunday morning worship. This group began to crash and burn spiritually as they were let down by those around them and/or the Sunday worship at their church was too dull and lifeless. While these extroverted youth ministers were deeply impacted by the people and events around them I was able to stick in there and continue to minister because my strength and spirituality did not derive from external stimuli.

As I continued year after year in ministry I began to crave time alone with God which became a primary foundation for my spiritual life. For me, an introverted minister, I gain emotional and spiritual renewal from time alone when it is just God and I.  Consequently the ups and downs of the churches and the members I have served with have not sent my own spiritual life on a roller coaster which is likely why I am still in ministry 23 years later after so many others I have served with are no longer in ministry.

For years some extroverted people have seen my introversion as a handicap but the older I get the more I realize that this world and the church could not exist without introverts. Look at this web site showing personality types for various people from history. Life would not be the same without the talents brought to bear by the introverts of the world.

Here are some ways I allow my introversion to play itself out as a Christian:

• I spend alot of time in prayer. I pray for myself, the church, and people. I always find time to pray no matter when or where I am. I pray when I'm at work, when I drive, when I'm in bed at night, and when I ride my bicycle. Occasionally I will find time to spend the day or multiple days committed to prayer. What is wild is that some amazing interactions with God have occurred when I commit to an extended time in prayer with God. 
• I seek out ways to interact with people one on one or in small groups. One of my current ministries is working with Sugar Grove's new members where I discovered it worked much better when I sat down to talk with our new members one family at a time. This allows me to get to know each family and specifically address the new member orientation process to personally fit each person. It might seem more efficient to conduct new member orientations in a large group but I have discovered incredible benefit in giving focused attention to each family. 

For those of you who are introverts... Jump in and let God use you! Allow God to leverage your strengths to bring glory to His name. Just because your renewal and strength does not come from other people does not mean you don't need people in your life. Instead recognize that God brings people into your life for specific reasons and in turn he will lead you into other people's lives for very specific reasons. Don't try to be an extrovert. Be the person God made you to be realizing our society has been down on introverts for a good while now- in fact alot of people think Jesus was an introvert! Now that's awesome!!

The Radical Change of the Foundations of Our Culture

When I was down in bed earlier this year unable to walk as a result of a horrendous side effect to a round of Cipro antibiotics I ended up watching lots of video on You Tube. For some reason I was drawn to watch anything I could find about Detroit, Michigan and its incredible decline. I watched all types of documentaries focused on Detroit that included fires, drugs, gangs, the car industry, the bankrupt city, racial issues, vacant homes, and public schools. One documentary that was produced by Ford Motor Company around 1961 extolled the virtues of Detroit and had one scene that has stuck in my mind. It was a young boy staring intently with his eyes squinted so he could take in a statue on a bright sunny day in downtown Detroit in 1961. The documentary panned from the boy to the statue as the narrator on the documentary told about the statue that represented the foundations of our society- family and God. The narrator explained that these 2 things are the foundation upon which all other things in our society are built.

After the narrator spoke these words I stared at the video in disbelief for a few moments thinking about how dramatically our society has changed since that day in 1961 because so much of our culture is now focused upon undoing family and God as that upon which all other things in our society are built. We live in a society that is in the midst of dramatic change. We live in a society that ridicules anyone who encourages sexual purity or sexual standards based upon the Bible. We live in a society that views as suspect a large family, and especially if that family goes to church. We live in a society that says it is enlightened to have no religious beliefs and it is weak minded to believe in God.

The world as it existed some years back does not exist now. And to make it worse many Christians believe if we would simply reintroduce prayer into schools, outlaw abortion, or require creation to be taught in schools everything would be solved. The problem is that the Christians who hold these views are a small vocal fringe element of Christianity just as those who believe we should eradicate religion and God are a small vocal fringe element of our American culture.

Prayer cannot and should not be introduced into public schools because in our multicultural mindset we would require all students to pray to whatever god anyone believes in- that would not be productive. We can make abortion illegal but it will become a time bomb if we don't do anything to address the hyper sexual culture that is producing lots of unwanted babies. Teaching six literal days of creation will come back to harm Christianity just as teaching that the earth was flat has done immense harm over the centuries.

The solution to where Christianity finds itself in 2013 is not to go back to life as it was in 1961. Do we really want to go back to a time period in which discrimination of people based upon the color of their skin was justified by Christians? Do we really want to once again advocate for a legalistic Christianity that teaches that we are saved because we accomplish a specific task in a certain way and our brand of Christianity is better than the other brands because we _______ (you can fill in the blank!)___?

The solution to the radical transformation of the foundations of our culture lies in seeking the wisdom and power and grace and mercy of the God who created us. (...and yes, he might have taken billions and billions of years to create us or he might have done it a single microsecond!) If there is a God and if this God really did preserve the record of His work in this world for us to read today then perhaps we should take comfort in the possibility that this God is powerful enough to get us through a confusing time in the history of this country and our world just as He did when He sustained and guided countless numbers of people through the millenia.

So... What Is Church?...

In the last few weeks I have some fascinating conversations with a number of different people.

• I have spoken with someone who is thinking about coming to church but whose life has been imperfect so they felt that they could not come to church and would not be accepted until they got their life nice and presentable. 
• I have spoken with a church member who thinks the only thing the church should be doing when it comes together is doing Bible Studies and Worship Services, nothing else. 
• I accidentally entered into a conversation with a woman in New York City who hosts a cable talk show, writes for the newspaper, acts on Broadway, does voice overs for commercials, and does motivational seminars. Her email address was one letter off from an email address of a Sugar Grove guest which lead to the accidental conversation. In the email I offered an invitation to get together and talk and pray for a few minutes on a Sunday morning. This person in New York City responded back to me as if I were a creepy stalker making it very clear that they were not religious and don't do 'the pray thing'. This person very quickly became hostile and wanted me to leave them alone. 

All three of these people have a significant misunderstanding of what church is and is not. What has caused the misunderstanding toward what church is or should be? Is it a world that is bent on damaging or destroying the church? I don't think so. I have reason to suspect the views all three of these people have been influenced by churches themselves, not by some outside influence. 

The guest who believed they needed to get their life in order identified that previous churches they had been connected to had made it very clear that things like baptism and membership could not happen unless you got your life in order first. The fallacy of this logic lies in the role of the Holy Spirit in our life. It is ultimately the power of the Spirit in our lives that gives us the strength to live a Godly life. Forcing someone to get their life in order without the strength of the Spirit in their life teaches a person to pull themselves up by their own boot straps. It teaches that we are made perfect by our own efforts, not by the work of God in our life. We can by sheer will do the right thing for a while but true change comes because we have allowed the Spirit of God to indwell our heart and guide our lives and convict us of our own sin. 

At an even deeper level the fallacy of this 'do the right thing through your own power' logic is that salvation comes because of what we have done, not because of what Jesus has done. This logic says that we are saved if we do what God says correctly placing the power of salvation on our obedience through our own strength of will. This type of 'religion' has no need for God or the Holy Spirit because it is up to us. In fact my encounters with leaders in churches like this have literally told me that God does not actively work in the world today and that the Holy Spirit is nothing more than the printed word of God. These people have gutted the power of the Bible and have instead turned it into a 'To Do' manual.

The consequence of this view is a humanistic religion that creates either arrogance because of the 'look what I've done' attitude or a hopelessness because of the realization that you can never on your own do all that you are supposed to do. A secondary problem that is created is a bizarre set of tacit rules that identify which sins are unacceptable and which sins will be overlooked. 

The member who thought the church should only be studying the Bible or in a worship service when they come together is influenced by a similar pattern view of church that has been taught by many people through the years. This view places limits on what the church can and cannot do so that the church as a whole will be acceptable to God. The problem is that the list of what the church can and cannot do is not agreed upon even though each group has been taught to believe that their view is correct and should be applied and adopted by everyone around them. 

In the first century the church was a market place church meaning the life of the church was carried out daily in the lives of the believers led by the Holy Spirit as they worked, lived, and played. The Holy Spirit led each believer to share the message of the joy of salvation with those they were around. When the church came together it was to celebrate the savior, be convicted by the work of the Spirit in their midst, and renew their commitment to the journey of faith. In this atmosphere the idea of going to church was foreign because all that they did was church. God was powerfully active in their midst whether they were the believers meeting together or the believers living out their life. The idea of a compartmentalized religion such as we have today would have been foreign to first century Christians. 

In later centuries the church developed into a cathedral religion meaning faith was primarily expressed when the church came together in a specific place for a specific purpose. In this type of environment there was less need for the power of the Spirit to work in their midst because what they did was planned out- the expression of religion became something to do and believe instead of something to live. This cathedral religion model has dramatically impacted our view of church today. This can be seen when we say we are going to go to church because church is what we do when we come together, not who we are. 

The cathedral view of religion has a number of downfalls. It allows us to compartmentalize our life- we can live for God in one part of our life while disallowing God from another part of our life with very little realization that this is a problem.  We can easily fulfill our religious duty by learning more about the Bible or participating in a worship service which takes away any significant sense of  need to allow God to infiltrate our life outside the 'cathedral'.  

The cathedral view has very little need for the Holy Spirit to work in our life because our religious duties are boiled down to planned activities and events which fits very nicely into a scientific and logical world view. When we go about our daily life with our heart, mind, soul, and strength open and available to be used by God we will be amazed at the never ending way in which the Holy Spirit desires to use us as a witness for God. But this thought process becomes foreign to us when we only do religious things that do not require the Holy Spirit to guide and help us. Consequently we end up with a religion that begins to shape and form around planned events that will work just fine even if God does not show up. 

The person in New York City who had a panic attack and felt as if they had been violated when I offered to pray with them demonstrates something that has happened to view God, church, and Christianity as an incredible danger. I may never know what happened to this person but it has brought them onto my radar and I have been praying for God to work in their life, I'm just not going to send an email telling them! But this person brings to light how deep the damage can go in a person's life when 'religion' is allowed to become a set of rules to be followed. 

I know of someone whose coworker is in the LGBT community. When this person in the LGBT community found out their co worker was a Christian they became defensive, rude, and sarcastic. This went on for a few years until one day the LGBT person told the Christian that God and all Christians hate them. The Christian asked questions and found out the LGBT's mother's church told this person that God hated them and would never accept them. This person loved God but knew the feelings and emotions they had in regard to their own sexuality that did not go away so they were left feeling abandoned by God, the church, and all Christians which left bitterness and pain. When this Christian told them God loves them tears flowed. This conversation and relationship has developed for a number of years to the point that the Christian says this person would probably be willing to be a part of a church that was willing to show God's love to this person. 

All of these stories point toward a commonality... If the Church wants to be The Church it is going to have to let the Holy Spirit work and intentionally put itself and it's members in positions where it ain't gonna' work unless God shows up bringing His gifts of guidance, leading, power, strength, and healing.   

Fort Bend County Ethnic Diversity

I recently attended a seminar presented by Fort Bend Chamber of Commerce featuring Rice University Demographer Stephen Klineberg. He discussed the demographics of the Houston metro area and the many areas of relevance to what he has discovered in his 30 years of researching the social demographics of the Houston area. Toward the end of his presentation he began discussing Fort Bend County and the amazing demographic mix it is. He told us that Fort Bend County, Texas is the most ethnically diverse county in the country. Period.

He said other metropolitan areas that have a large percentage of non white residents do not have a wide diversity but simply a large population of one ethnicity. What makes Fort Bend County unique is the fact that it has a diversity of ethnicity's that essentially comes out to be 25% asian, 25% latino, 25% black, and 25% white. Klineberg went on to point out that the even spread of ethnic diversity in Fort Bend County is even more remarkable when you realize the amazing vibrancy of the community and culture. He said that the entire country could learn a great deal from Houston and in particular Fort Bend County because this community is figuring out how to live successfully in a diversity that the rest of the country will experience 50 years from now.

Taking Klineberg's work a step farther would be to explore how Christianity is spread among a culture as diverse as Fort Bend County and realize that what is learned here could help Christians around the country in the future. However Klineberg is quick to point out when talking informally that Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week referring to the reality that people will bunch up by ethnicity for religious experiences. So the question for Christians in Fort Bend County becomes do we follow the pattern of gathering by ethnicity or do we make some concerted effort to cross culturally spread Jesus Christ in our own back yard?

Each ethnic group brings its own bias of religion to the table. The white culture brings a European bred Christianity that has morphed over time in the united states. The black culture came to know Christ in the context of rescue from oppression. The Hispanic culture has a strong background in Catholicism. And everyone demographically marked as Asian represents a wide range of religions. The process to reach each of these backgrounds differs dramatically because political and social elements have intertwined themselves into each culture in very unique ways.

So the question is this: Do we stay segregated religiously while living integrated or do we figure out how to allow the Holy Spirit to guide us to spread the message of Jesus Christ (not our version of political and social elements related to Jesus Christ...)?

Superstitious Religion

A superstition is the belief that a specific act will bring supernatural consequences... breaking a mirror brings 7 years bad luck... walking under a ladder...throwing a penny in a fountain...crossing your fingers.  Some superstitions are harmless while others can have dramatic impact upon our lives. The danger is that we can come to put our trust in something which will produce many unintended consequences in our life. An easy illustration of this can be seen when I was a teen. A group of guys I hung out with honestly believed that if we did some good things from time to time God would protect us from harm when we did stupid stuff. We were gambling with the false belief that God would protect us from our own stupid behavior.

 Religion is quiet often filled with superstitious beliefs. We believe that if we do a religious 'act' we have in essence purchased a comprehensive protection policy or at the very least a fire insurance policy. I grew up with some Catholic friends who believed if they went to Friday night mass they could absolutely do whatever they wanted to do the rest of the week. But before I seem too smug I should point out that I grew up in a religious tradition that in essence taught the same thing about baptism- as long as you are baptized by being fully immersed in water and saying the correct words and verbally acknowledging acceptance of the correct belief about Jesus Christ God has to let you into heaven. It did not really matter if I treated people with respect or allowed God to use me because I had done what I needed to get into heaven.

The Verge Missional Network has a great clip about 'praying Jesus into your heart' describing how that the Bible does not ever tell us we become a Christian by performing a  ritual.
Verge Clip

The problem with believing that we have become O.K. with God by performing an external ritual is that it completely misses the point of the Bible. The point of the Bible, both Old and New Testament, is that God desires to have our heart, not just our actions. Why? If God has control of our heart then our actions will follow suit. But even more powerful than that is that God desires to fill us with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the affirmation of our salvation from sins and the Spirit is God's power within us. If we have allowed the Spirit of God to dwell within us then our actions are powered not by our own selfish desires but by the Spirit of God.

When we believe that we are O.K. with God because of some act we have done there is no need for God's Spirit to dwell within us because through our own power we have accomplished salvation, WE have done what is needed to be saved. There is no need for Jesus Christ to do anything. These external religious acts that save us consequently become nothing more than a superstitious belief.

In the absence of the indwelling power of the Spirit within our life we are left with nothing except external ritual to provide us salvation (which is a false salvation) forcing us to become focused upon the quality of our external ritual. We have to make sure that everyone performs the external ritual to perfection and we have to point out why that people in other religious groups who have focused upon alternate external rituals are inferior to our religious group because of their choice of external ritual. This type of religion is hollow and a waste of time.

However this is not what the Bible describes. The Bible does not describe religion to us- it describes relationship with the God of the universe. It describes a God who creates an entire universe but who is focused upon the beings created in His image. It describes how these beings became separated from their creator by sin. It describes God's long process to remove sin so that once again the loving father can walk side by side with his children created in His image. It describes how that God the Son lived and died to pay the price of sin so that all who accept His gift of grace may be redeemed. It describes how that indwelt with the power of the Holy Spirit we survive in a world damaged by sin until God brings this age to a close. It describes God's plan to redeem and restore this world so that freed from sin we can be resurrected to a new life in a new physical body in the new realm where God and His people will dwell together.

It is an insult to cheapen Christianity to the point that is nothing more than a set of rules and actions to perform; a prayer to be said, a baptism to be done, a worship assembly to attend, a communion to eat...

Christianity is a radical transformation because we have been redeemed by a radical God who desires to fill us with a transforming Spirit. How can you tell if you are allowing God to fill you? The message of the author of life will overfill your life and splash onto those around you.

Day 105!

Today is the 105th day of my Cipro antibiotic side effects mess and I am doing really good. I would say that I am 95% recovered. I have been pushing through all the side effects working out with increasing intensity for the last month in a pool and then for the first time yesterday I rode a bike! I have been itching to get back up and going again on a bike and finally got to that point. I rode 8.7 miles at an average speed of 16.7 miles per hour which was better than I thought I would be able to do.

It has been a long hard journey that I could really do without having to repeat again. I have wrestled through muscle tremors and spasms, muscle weakness, chest pain, tendon pain, joint pain, mental fog, depression, and hallucinations all caused by the fluoroquinolone antibiotic I took- Cipro which is similar to Avelox and Levaquin. ( see article http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/10/20/fluoroquinolones-side-effects.aspx   )

I have kept up with other people who have experienced side effects to fluoroquinolone antibiotics and began to realize I have improved quicker than other's who have had these severe side effects and I think it has to do with the 3 things that I focused upon for recovery. I discovered along the way that the people who had experienced severe side effects to fluoroquinolone antibiotics and then took additional medications to treat the side effects actually got worse with some of those never recovering and being permanently disabled so I determined from the start my solution would not include additional medications to solve the problem caused by medication.

The thing that I began doing from the start was praying and begging God to heal me because it was traumatic to go from being very physically active to being completely unable to walk in a matter of a few days. Three weeks into the ordeal the elders from church prayed over me and anointed me with oil asking for God's healing. I would have been very satisfied with instant miraculous healing but it did not happen that way. As I spent time thinking about my situation from God's point of view I began to realize some interesting things. I could imagine God looking at me and saying 'of course you are having problems, you put a stupid chemical concoction in your body that is known to cause problems because you wanted to feel better quickly.' This made me realize that there are times it is better for God not to heal us and instead to allow us to wrestle with what we've done to ourselves because quiet honestly sometimes the only way I can learn something is through experiencing the natural consequences of what I've done. 

This led me to realize that there are times that I/we put our faith and trust in something other than God. In this particular case I had put my trust in a medication to heal me. It had never even occurred to me to deal with the spiritual side of taking medicine at the drop of a hat, that is it had never occurred to me until I had no choice but to be forced to contemplate how different things would have been if I had spent some time in prayer before I did anything else. For us in the modern United States we like to put our faith in science and medicine before we put our faith in God. All in all this experience has shaken me to the core because I thought I was doing really good at putting my faith in God and instead God has helped me to see how far I need to go to honestly put my faith in Him.

Twice in the first week of dealing with the extreme side effects I encountered a secondary problem of having extreme reverse reactions to pain relieving medications which produced greatly magnified pain instead of alleviating pain. I discovered this apparently happens because of the way in which the Cipro antibiotic changes your brain chemistry. This launched me into a quest to figure out how to get better apart from taking any type of medication. In fact it has now been around 90 days since I have any medicine of any kind at all and I plan to keep it that way. I had a chiropractor who for years told me God did not make our bodies to need medicine to function correctly but I did not fully understand what he was trying to tell me until now. Consequently I began to seek out what would help my body function as good as it possibly could so that the amazing work God did of creating my body and my immune system could be maximized.

I began visiting my chiropractor which provided some improvement but the most dramatic improvement came about as the result of visiting an alternative allergy specialist who utilized a number of non invasive and non medical techniques to help eliminate my body's bad reaction to the medication. ( see www.naet.com for more information).  I discovered this group of practitioners when I lived in Colorado and had developed a whole range of debilitating food allergies. An NAET practitioner in Colorado helped to completely eliminate my food allergies and as a side bonus also eliminated my severe allergy to bee stings. It simply involves holding the substance you are reacting to while the practitioner stimulates significant pressure points on your body. When it occurred to me that I was for all practical purposes having an allergic reaction to Cipro I decided I would seek out an NAET practitioner in Houston. After my first visit there was dramatic improvement- it shut down my muscles tremors and spasms. As the NAET practitioner worked with me he discovered that I had been over exposed to a number of things including the metal lead which may have contributed to why the Cipro caused such a severe reaction. The upside is that I may come out better on the far side of this whole ordeal than when I started!

The temptation would be to say the NAET treatment is amazing and begin to elevate it to the same status as we currently tend to elevate medicine but the reality is that the NAET practitioners are simply working with our body to help stimulate the process that God set in motion within our body. The miracle here is not the treatment, the miracle is God's amazing process of creating our body so that it can heal itself. The mistake we make with medicine is that we believe that we can only be healed with medicine- which is why I am opposed to our current nationalized health care because it works from the assumption that all that everyone needs to be healthy is an array of medicines.

I have a new found commitment to  continue to discover ways to help my body work how God designed it to work instead of working against it. A few things I have discovered have to do with diet; stay away from Canola oil- it's very bad news, stay away from artifical sweeteners including Splenda- our body does not have any natural enzymes to break them down, stay away from white flour, stay away as much as possible from processed foods...But I also am at a new starting point of discovering how many ways there in which I don't put God as Lord of my life and instead put other things as the Lord of my life- I think that is called idolatry.

Often we think the reason we need to put God as the Lord of our Life has to do with an eternity with God in heaven but the reality is that it also has to do with having a better life right now.

What Makes Christianity Different From Any Other Religion?

The Youth Ministry at Sugar Grove has been learning about various world religions by letting 2 of the teens teach a class each week about a pair of religions. Some of my kids have taught some of those classes so we have had some fun conversations at home about various religions as well as about Christianity in the last couple of weeks. During this same time period I have also had a great time reconnecting with a 'kid' from one of my youth groups who I have not been around in almost 20 years. She has shared with me her horror story about marrying a Mormon guy and the conversations with her bishop questioning her dedication to the Mormon faith since she wasn't having enough babies.

These conversations recall an ah ha moment I had about 18 years ago when I was teaching a religions class with a group of teens. As I taught through this class the question that began to surface in my mind was "What makes Christianity any different than any other religion in the world?" I had grown up learning that Christianity was about going to church on Sunday, being baptized by being immersed in water and saying the right words, not using a piano to worship God, and a few other things like this. As I researched and taught through this religions class it started to stand out to me that all religions were similar; you believe something about a deity, you have a set of requirements to do in a formal setting, and you have a set of requirements to do in life. And why do you do these things? So that the deity or the higher force will be happy with you and move you to a better place.  In other words... you earn your way into the presence of the deity or a better place. The deity is important but ultimately it is what you do, not what the deity does.

The 'kid' from my youth group told me when she first married the Mormon guy that Mormonism has a much better set of rules than Christianity- their rules were much more concise than the rules she had grown up with in a Christian church- so that was why she was converting to Mormonism. This was for me another ah ha moment. If picking a religion is nothing more than finding the set of rules and beliefs that work best for you then what is the point? If it is simply about a set of rules and beliefs then the core of the religion is actually nothing more than a myth- the power of that religion is not in the reality of what it believes but simply in the rules you must follow.

In the class I had been teaching I had to confront the falseness of what I had been taught growing up- that Christianity was about doing the right things and going to the right church. This is not Christianity. It is a humanistic offshoot of true Christianity. True Christianity is different than any other religion in the world. True Christianity is not about what we do (even though we like to make it about what we do), it is about what Jesus did.

God made the world including us. Sin entered the world and separated us from God. God then began a process to ensure that we had the chance to once again be with him- to again walk with him in the garden. This process centered upon Jesus Christ satisfying the demands of sin. What is my role in this process? Accepting the gift He has offered. Period.

Viewing Christianity as a set of rules cheapens all that Jesus did. It is much easier to view Christianity as a set of rules. It is much easier to think that if we go to our priest on Friday night and confess our sins we are ok. It is much easier to think if we are immersed in water then we are ok. It is much easier to view Christianity as a legal requirement than a relationship. However the consequences for viewing Christianity as a set of rules are immense. We take the power from God and put it in our hands. And since we are not God we make our religion no better than any other religion and we end up in nothing more than a pissing match arguing about whose set of rules is best.

Christianity is not about rules; go to church, be baptized, take communion, don't do this, do this... But on the other side of this pendulum we also make a mistake in thinking that we can detach Christianity from boundaries, behaviors, and beliefs. We go to church on a Sunday morning not to satisfy the legal requirements of being in a worship service but to gain and give encouragement to other believers as we focus upon our God through worship. We are baptized not to meet the minimum required standards to enter heaven but to express through an outward symbol the passion within our hearts to accept the gift of grace offered to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Baptism does not save us, Jesus Christ saves us.

What makes Christianity different than other religions? It's not what we do, it's what Jesus Christ has done for us.

Disciples

Since January Sugar Grove's elders and ministers have stopped their normal meetings and instead have been focused upon praying and seeking God's guidance about what He desires Sugar Grove to be and to do. There has been a great deal of prayer and as time has gone along more and more discussion. One thing that God has continued to bring back to our attention has been Jesus' words in Matthew 28  "...All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of  all nations..."

Disciples... what is a disciple? Freedictionary.com tells us that a disciple is:

a. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.

b. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy.

 

In the context of Matthew 28 Jesus command is to go and make disciples of Jesus Christ.  The question Sugar Grove's leadership have wrestled with is two fold; are we ourselves being shaped into being Christ's disciples? Are we going and making disciples of others? 

Another question that is being asked is how do we know if we are a disciple of Christ. Traditionally our measuring stick of discipleship has focused upon a few external actions; Do we go to church every time the door is opened? Do we study the Bible? Do we believe the right things about God, the Bible, and his church?

However the problem with using these as the measuring stick for being a disciple of Christ is that even Judas Iscariot meet these criteria. He believed the right things. He walked the road with Jesus. He was there every time the 'doors' were opened. He knew and did everything right but it did not make it into his heart. 

A disciple is someone who allows the teachings of their master to penetrate their heart and in turn impact every single dimension of their life.

The Hand of God at Work

Earlier this week I took my two girls to Lubbock Christian University to register them for the fall. We had an eventful time getting to Lubbock just barely missing a multi car pile up followed by getting food poisoning at an Arby's in Abilene. The next day was a whirlwind meeting with admissions, recruiters, advisers, registrars, and financial aid. It was a great day even though the girls felt like death warmed over from the food poisoning. By that evening it had warmed to 93 degrees but the next morning the weather changed and it was 34 degrees with a 35 mile per hour wind.

In this midst of this dramatic weather change we packed up the car to head home. It was cloudy, cold, and windy. About two hours into the drive we encountered a detour with a bridge under construction at hwy 84 and Interstate 20. The detour had us get on the freeway going west, exit the freeway, u turn, and get back on the freeway going east bypassing the bridge construction. It was in the construction detour that things did not work out so well.

We followed the detour and exited the freeway behind an 18 wheel truck. As we approached the stop sign to turn and go under the freeway there was a flurry of detour signs including large orange flags on top of the stop sign giving us a multitude of warnings and instructions. As the truck in front of us slowly pulled out and turned right onto the narrow 2 lane farm road we pulled up to the stop sign to turn left. A second or two after we got to the stop sign a new white Suburban pulled up to the stop sign across from us. My daughter, who was driving, asked whose turn it was and I told her I think it is our turn. She sat there for a moment looking at the white Suburban and I told her "it's our turn so we can go". She hesitated for a moment more and then pulled out. As we began our turn left under the bridge we heard a short honk followed by the nose of our car smashing into the side of an old Suburban that was coming down the road at about 50 miles per hour. The nose of our car sunk into the side of suburban which grabbed our car and spun us like a top- we spun almost a complete 360 in the narrow 2 lane road without bumping either curb. The old Suburban screeched to a stop in the left lane midway under the bridge. We had both stayed on the road and missed the bridge columns as well as the culverts that were on either side of the road under the bridge.

Scary, scary, scary! We quickly took stock and realized we were ok but the car was injured. We discovered it would still drive so we pulled it off into a gas station and tried to take in what had happened. As we looked back at the stop sign we realized the one thing we had missed in the flurry of flags and detour directions was the small white sign that said 'cross traffic does not stop'. We spent the next hour processing things with the police,  our insurance company, and trying to decide if we would need a tow truck. We discovered the nearest place to rent a car was 45 miles away so we made the car drivable enough to get it to Abilene by pulling off the parts that were hanging down into the front wheel.

After dropping the car off at the body shop, getting a rental car, and eating some lunch we were finally back on the road again. As we drove we processed what happened talking about the importance of never listening to anyone else in the car who is giving you bad advice and instead making driving decisions based upon your own observations. But the more significant conversation centered around the spiritual issues at hand. We talked about how both of us had been prompted to be in prayer about our trip home and had prayed asking God to give us a safe trip. My daughter had prayed asking God to keep us out of a wreck which prompted her to ask why God allowed us to get in a wreck even though she had asked him to keep us out of a wreck. As we continued to talk and process we began to realize that although God had not kept us out of a wreck he may have worked to save our lives. If we had pulled out a fraction of a second earlier instead of hitting the side of the old Suburban we would have been been in the path of a big Suburban going 50 miles an hour. It would have most likely t-boned us in the passenger front door where I was sitting. It would then have likely thrown us into the columns on one side of the bridge and knocked the Suburban into the columns on the other side of the bridge causing significant injuries to all of us.

We began to clue in on the holy brain fart that my daughter had after I told her we should be able to go. I remember glancing over at her and wondering why she had frozen up for a second... had she not done that we would have pulled out in front of the Suburban instead of bouncing off the side of the Suburban. It really appears that God used her weakness, freezing up for a second, to compensate for my backseat driving producing a bad wreck instead of a catastrophic collision. Had God completely spared us from the wreck neither my daughter nor I would have learned anything. We would not have realized the significance of what He had spared us from. We would not have learned some valuable lessons about driving and back seat driving. We would have instead continued down the road griping about an old Suburban that was going too fast down a small road and the confusing nature of the signage in the construction zone.

What occurred has the fingerprints of God upon it; using our weakness to reveal His glory, restraining how bad things could have been, and prompting by the Holy Spirit to invite God to work. Pretty cool.

The Difference Between Doing and Being

Over the last few years I have had an ongoing conversation with God that goes something like this... "God, what do you want me to do?" God's response is "I want you to be mine." When this first started a few years back in my prayer time I was a little frustrated because I wanted a concrete 'To Do' list, not a fuzzy 'To Be' list. However as I chewed on what God was telling me I began to kind of understand it. It is easy to do something but it is far more challenging to be something.

Doing is an external action that does not have any bearing upon who you are. Be-ing is at the core of you, it is at the heart and soul of who you are. You can do something that looks good to those around you while still having a putrid heart. Judas Iscariot is a great example of doing with no bearing upon who you are at the core. Way too many modern politicians are another example of doing and saying things externally or publicly while their actions hidden from the public reveal what is going on in their heart as evidenced by a news story that came out this week about a number of political figures in New York state who have been indicted on bribery charges- they told the public they would fix the economy and work for the voter and what they did was work for themself.

This is why God's invitation for me to be His instead of simply doing a few godly things has really challenged me over the last few years. The best way to evaluate how well I am doing at being God's in the depths of my heart is by what I do when no one is watching- when my actions are hidden. It's easy to look good in public. It takes far more work to be good in private in the depths of your heart. God's ultimate desire is to have our heart, not our hands because if he has our heart then our hands will follow.

Over the years I have done a number of things to help me to be God's. And I will be the first one to tell you I'm not perfect at the quest to be God's. I have discovered this quest comes in waves. There are days and weeks and months that I do a great job of letting God be the master of my heart which plays itself out through my actions. But there are other periods where I allow my heart to get cluttered with junk other than belonging to God. During these periods I find my thoughts scattered and the temptation to do and say what I shouldn't strong. Something that has developed significant symbolic meaning for me has been to write a short prayer on a piece of paper and put it in a large metal vase I got from a local import store. The prayer that I write has been consistent for the last 9 years; "God, today I will be yours." followed by the current date. It is not something I do every day, problably because it would lose its meaning and become a daily chore. Instead I only do this symbolic action when I am scattered, off course, and realizing I have not been too concerned with allowing God to have my heart.

An additional bonus of this practice has been to help me realize how often we try to convince ourselves we are acceptable to God because we have done some good things for him. When I was in college a group of Christian guys I hung out with started excusing behavior that was less than stellar by saying God will cut us some slack for what we shouldn't do because we were living good most of the time. The funny thing is we all really believed this. We really thought God would overlook one sin because of a fewgood things we had done. This plays itself out in funny ways. We try to convince ourselves that because we went to church or mass or the revival or whatever else we deem important God will consequently overlook when we do something else that we should not be doing. That is legalism.

Legalism says that God is only conerned with a few external actions so we become focused on those few specific actions or beliefs (that we have chosen) ignoring other items that are often even more significant. We focus on something religious while ignoring the way we treat people, or our lack of ethics, or our obsessession with money or our appearance or food or possessions or sex or power or...

Legalism says that we must make a list of what is a sin and what is not. However sin is not so easily categorized because the heart determines sinfulness, not a list. Think about it: For some Sunday worship is a sinful act because they are only focused upon evaluating if everything was done correctly with no heart of worship given over to God in praise; For a young couple going out on a date  holding hands can be a sinful act if the intention of the hand holding is to ultimatley get the other's clothes off; For a person protecting their family from an armed intruder killing is not a sin unless the intruder runs away and you kill him six months later when you finally track him down.

See the funny fuzzy lines that develop when we start trying to decide what is a sin and what is not a sin? Our problems come when we try to focus upon the external behavior of what we are doing instead of focusing on giving ownership of our heart to God- being God's.

God wants us to daily make a decision to be His. God wants me to daily make the decision to be His. "Dear God, today I will be yours." April 7, 2013.

Understanding God in Genesis

Do you realize your view of God can impact the entirety of your existence. A foundational place to start understanding God is in the book of Genesis and then continuing throughout the Old Testament.

Genesis 1 reveals some amazing things about God. "In the beginning God..." tells us about this god who existed before our beginning and who simply spoke to bring all that we know into being. This is an amazing claim. How could something like this exist? Who is this being? Some people stop right there and say no way- there is no being like this, God is a myth. Others jump in and use Genesis 1 to develop a viewpoint that the world was created in 6 literal days. Both of these see what they want to see through their own cultural, social, and religious bias instead of simply allowing the story to unfold.

 As the story unfolds we see a god who creates everything. Everything!  In Genesis 2 we see a god who creates humans in his image and asks them to fill the earth with offspring as they rule over and subdue it. We see a god who values companionship and who helps those he made to recognize boundaries. Moving into Genesis 3 we see another being come on the scene who seeks to confuse and mislead god's people. We see people who instead of walking daily with their god are now afraid and hide. We see a god who provides consequences and protection.

A decision that has to be made by every person is whether this is god with a little g or a big G. I believe misunderstandings about God's actions in Genesis 3 impact whether a person decides this is a god or if this is their God.

Through the years I have been surprised time and again as I have realized that most people misunderstand what goes on in Genesis 3. Most people have it in their mind that God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden because they broke his rules. For these people God is a god of rules and following him means we must follow his rules. This god does not value mercy or relationship, he values rules.

However the reality of what is going on in Genesis 3 can be seen through a few clues. First of all we notice that God made clothes of fur to replace the clothes made out of fig leaves which were now seen as necessary after disobeying God. If God were focused upon rules then we should see no compassion when someone has broken the rules- we should instead see harsh consequences be allowed to unfold... 'you eat the fruit and have your eyes open and realize you are naked and make poky fig leaf clothes then fine, walk around with scratchy underwear!' But we don't see harsh consequences, instead we see God say 'I'm sorry you made this mistake, wear these instead, they will be more comfortable'. 

The second thing we notice is God's reason for sending Adam and Eve from the garden- to get them away from the tree of life. We see God express concern that if they eat from the tree of life in their current state they will live forever with the implication being that they will live forever apart from God. The tree of life is seen again at the end of the book of Revelation when those who have had that removed which separated them from God can once again eat from the tree- in other words with sin removed they can now live forever with God instead of separated from God. So serious is this tree of life that God was willing to kill Adam and Eve if they tried to return to the garden and the tree.
The reason for removal was not punishment for breaking God's rules but protection so that God could develop a plan to fix that which separated us from Him so that once again we could walk in the garden with him.

If God is a god of love and compassion and enormous effort to once again be able to walk with us in the garden then I'm in and excited. If God is just about rules then what's the point because at some point we are all going to mess up and break the rules. This is where the difference in who we understand God to be is important. A god working to bring me back to him can be my big G god anytime. A god making arbitrary rules and then waiting for me to break them so he can punish me will stay in the little g category for most people including me.

I'm looking forward to walking in the garden with a big G God who has spent all of time doing whatever it takes to make sure we are together and not separated forevermore.

The Kingdom of God

Today is the 40th day I have been struggling with the side effects of an antibiotic called Ciprofloxacin. It left me with neurological issues in the muscles in my legs, arms, and chest and swelling in my joints which has made walking difficult and at times impossible.  I have been in constant pain for 40 days and have discovered the hard way that pain killers and muscle relaxers intensify my pain so I have had to seek something other than medicine for relief. But the news of praise to God is that I am improving.

Prayer has played a significant role in my ongoing recovery. I have spent lots of time begging God for healing and relief through prayer. I have been humbled as many people, for whom I am grateful, have lifted me up in prayer. And I was encouraged as the elders anointed me with oil and prayed for God's blessing of healing upon me.

Dealing first hand with what is probably the most serious health issue I have ever had to face left me with with lots of time flat on my back to think and pray and gripe and ponder. In this process I was drawn into consideration of our Hope in Christ and the Kingdom of God. 

Throughout Jesus' ministry he talked about the Kingdom of God. Over and again he would tell about the Kingdom of God. But what exactly is the Kingdom of God?... It is a reality in which God is in charge. It is a reality that currently exists in the hearts of those who believe and accept the message of salvation but that will some day grow to be all encompassing.  It appears that throughout the gospels Jesus is trying to give us a glimpse into what our reality will look like when the Kingdom of God has been fully revealed and implemented. This is our Hope in Christ.

What we see of the Kingdom of God through Jesus ministry on earth is incredible... healing flows freely to anyone who is hurt or injured; food is abundant and good, the focus of life is upon the good of others- not our own self focused interest, nature works with us- not against us...  

Right now we live between the resurrection of Christ and the end of this age when Christ returns. Until the end of this age those that pass from this life go to wait for the resurrection with God. At the time only known to God this age will come to an end which will culminate in our resurrection to a new physical resurrection body in a new heaven and earth where God reigns. I can't wait to experience life in the Kingdom of God- life that is free of pain, tears, hunger, evil, death, and decay.

When we realize where our Hope in Christ is leading there is reason to get excited and to tell others around us about how cool this all is. But we currently live in a world that is damaged by sin. We live in a culture that has falsely believed we can create a utopia here on earth through our own efforts. We have believed that through science or laws or social engineering we can continuously improve life here on earth. The problem is that these things become a god that we worship above the Lord God Almighty.

Jesus spent his time in ministry on this earth proclaiming the Kingdom of God and encouraging everyone to seek first God's Kingdom. It isn't that God intentionally made His Kingdom hard to find or that He has intentionally created a set of entry requirements so difficult that very few will make it. Instead we realize that sin and the entanglements of this world that is currently ruled by the evil one intentionally work to obscure God and deceive us from the truth of Hope in Christ.

I have been amazed at how quickly my mind has been able to jump from optimism and hope in God to despair and temptation to let God out of my sights. Living through 40 days of pain is nothing compared to some people who have endured health problems for years and years but my 40 days experience of disability has given me new insight into the mental challenge that people struggling through extended illness must wrestle with.

This brings to mind the importance of Jesus' focus in his ministry on earth to spread the message of the Kingdom of God. We have to remember the Hope to which Jesus calls us. We have to realize that we will not find fulfillment and perfection in this life. We have to trust that God will correct all wrongs in His Kingdom, not in this life. And we have to encourage each other when this evil world closes in around our heart and our mind and our body.

Jesus came to this earth for just a moment and said let me give you a taste of life in the Kingdom of God. He said try out some healing, experience compassion, absorb mercy, indulge abundant food and drink, watch in awe as nature works with you. You know what?! I'm in. I like what I saw and I want more. I want an eternity of life in God's Kingdom.

However my temptation is to try to create my own happy kingdom. If I am unhappy I quickly try to jump and find something to renew my happiness. I will buy something to make me happy. I will do something to make me happy. I will watch something to entertain me. Or I will take medicine with risks of significant side effects at the drop of a hat to make me feel better. The problem is that there are consequences to all of these actions. There are entanglements that develop and it is these entanglements that can be used by the evil one to obscure our ability to see God and His Kingdom.

Over the last 40 days the Holy Spirit has very faithfully continued to draw my mind back to thinking about God's Kingdom.... Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

What to Say to Someone Who Is Or Has Been Sick

Experience is sometimes the best teacher and over the last few weeks I have had an experience that has made me realize an important nuance of how we greet someone who has a health condition. I am in the midst of an ongoing neurological muscular problem that has made it almost impossible for me to walk. As of today I am 32 days into this problem and based upon my rate of recovery and what I have seen from other people who have suffered with similar problems I would guess I have a multi month recovery process ahead of me.

The odd part about my health condition is that some days I am able to be up and some days I am stuck flat of my back. This has produced a natural confusion among people who see me on my up days who make an assumption that since I am upright I must be all better now. The interaction usually goes something like this... 'You are walking again, GREAT! I'm glad to see you are all better.' The first few times this type of exchange occurred it left me with a weird feeling that was kind of repulsive. It took me a while before I realized why this exchange had been discouraging instead of encouraging- the person was not asking how I was doing, they wanted to read into the situation that I was doing better when in fact I was not.

We like perfection. We like health. We don't like illness and pain. Our culture is dedicated to preventing pain and illness. We want people to be healthy and are not sure how to react when someone is not ok. Consequently we tend to read our wishes onto their life instead of actually seeing how they are doing.

So... When you talk to someone who is or has been ill, don't make an assumption about how they are doing or try to make sense of why they have been ill because when you do this you are focused upon yourself, not the other person. Instead ask a question and let them respond. If you don't have time for this type of interaction the best thing you can say is "I'm so glad to see you."

Cipro Side Effects Journal

Cipro Side Effects Journal

This is out of the norm of what I write about in this blog but I am going to use this space to document the side effects I have had from taking a round of Ciprofloxacin because it has had such an impact on every part of my life. It began with a case of diverticulitis in February, 2013...

• Day 1- February 15, 2013; Began taking Ciprofloxacin,an antibiotic, for diverticulitis which was causing severe abdominal pain. I also began taking a prescription muscle relaxer to help with the pain.
• Day 3- Took the last dose of muscle relaxer in the morning. By late afternoon I was having symptoms that I attributed to withdrawal from the muscle relaxer- I felt droopy and worn out.  
• Day 4- Feeling better from abdominal pain but I was still feeling droopy overall which I attributed to the muscle relaxer. 
• Day 6- Noticed that I was unable to cross my legs because it made my hips feel like they were about to pop out of joint but didn't think much about it other than noting that  it was unusual. 
• Day 7- I had been planning to take a day to get away and pray for an entire day so I drove to the Texas coast and spent the day in prayer. 
• Day 9- Saturday February 23, 2013; I took my morning dose of Cipro and decided to stop. During the middle of the day I noted that my legs were feeling droopy like I would expect after a 50+ mile bike ride but I had done almost nothing all week. 
• Day 10- Sunday February 24, 2013; In my normal Sunday routine I arrived at the church building around 7:45 AM and began walking around the building getting things ready and checking on people. Midway through 1st service I realized that my legs felt like I had lactic acid but I had not exercised so I was confused as to what was happening. By the time Bible class began my legs were so sore that I went to my office to sit down and rest. I sat there for about 15 minutes massaging my legs but the pain continued to increase. Michelle was at Soul Link with the youth group so I was supposed to take Mally to work and then come back to the church building for the rest of 2nd service. However I was hurting so bad that I decided to take her a bit early and then go home. I was surprised walking out to the car that my legs were hurting so bad that it was causing me to limp. Once home I got in bed and the pain continued to increase. By mid afternoon however it had localized into my left leg. It occurred to me that I had read in the side effects of the antibiotic a statement about causing tendon problems. Upon reading the side effects brochure and additional information on the computer I became nauseous realizing my leg problems were from the antibiotic. By bed time my left leg had begun to hurt so bad that I could barely even touch my leg. 
• Day 11- By morning my leg was so sore it was absolutely all I could do to get dressed, hobble to the kitchen to get my keys and get in the car to take Makai to school. I had discovered Sunday evening that cipro had removed magnesium from my system and numerous people who had also had side effects from cipro strongly suggested you immediately begin taking magnesium supplements so on the way back home from dropping Makai off at school I stopped by Walgreens to get some. However I was having so much trouble walking because my left leg kept trying to go into a deep cramp that I had to use a grocery cart as a walker to get me into the store and back to the car. Once back at home my left leg was in almost continuous spasms on the verge of going into a deep cramp and one muscle in particular was in severe pain- it felt like I had lactic acid build up times a thousand. I had never felt such sever muscle pain. Later in the day my medical doctor suggested I take magnesium, potassium, calcium and take warm baths. My doctor also suggested he could order muscle relaxers but I decided not to take them because I realized if I was not able to feel the warning signs my muscles were communicating to me via pain I might end up tearing or rupturing a tendon. My doctor did order a prescription for a pain relief ointment which would come in the mail. I spent most of the day laying in bed praying and begging God for relief and healing. Everything I was reading said that I was not supposed to use any muscles or tendons that were having symptoms as a result of Cipro. In the midst of all this I had to cancel a Stephen Ministry training session that had been scheduled that I was supposed to teach at.
• Day 12- I emailed my staff at the church office telling them this was my worst day so far. There was severe pain and spasms all day long. Spent most of the day trying to relax because my brain was running away with the idea that I was ruined. I probably prayed for 8-10 total hours! I also noticed that every time I got up my feet, knees, and hips were popping like crazy. As I continued to research I discovered that apparently Cipro removes all of the magnesium from your system so that it can adhere to your cell receptors. Muscles and bones use magnesium so this depletion of magnesium causes sever problems in some people.
• Day 13- The pain in my left leg was not quiet as intense as it had been the day before so I was trying to get a few things done around the house. As I bent over my left leg went into a severe cramp that I could not get to stop. I ended up stuck in a chair in the family room for 2 or 3 hours. I was unable to take Makai to school and had to call Michelle to come home and help. 
• Day 15- The pain in my left leg was not as intense but the muscle spasms and popping joints continued. However my left hip began to ache and hurt whenever I tried to stand. I spent part of the day watching the Verge Conference in Austin which I had reservations to attend but had to cancel.
• Day 16- I spent part of the day watching the Verge Conference in Austin.  I decided to try and push things in the afternoon so I spent about an hour hobbling around the kitchen cooking some chicken. By the time I was done my hip began having severe pain that was especially intense any time I tried to stand so I was back flat of my back in bed for the evening and next day which gave me alot of time to think. It occurred to me that my reaction to Cipro was not a case of poisoning because if I had been poisoned then everyone who took Cipro would be poisoned but they are not- I had talked to numerous people who in travels overseas had taken cipro almost like candy. This led me to begin to considering the possibility that my reaction to Cipro was more of an allergic reaction. If so this might mean a treatment I had in 2000 to eliminate a series of food allergies would be able to address my problems with cipro. The treatments I had with an NAET practitioner in 2000 eliminated a series of food allergies I had which had literally gone ballistic after my experience with the Columbine High School shooting. By the summer of 2000 I was developing new food allergies every few weeks so that I was getting to where I could not eat much more than rice and chicken and water.
• Day 17- Sunday March 3, 2013; The severe hip pain and inability for my hip to bear much weight continued along with leg spasms, and popping joints.
• Day 18- Monday March 4, 2013;  I started off the day making an appointment with an NAET practitioner in Houston. From previous experience I knew that it was important to be properly adjusted prior to NAET treatment so I managed to get in to my chiropractor with the help of Matthew and Mally. He told me that my atlas was significantly out of place which could have affected how my body processed the Cipro antibiotic. Immediately after the adjustment I was feeling the most relief I had felt to date but I still was having continuous muscle spasms in my left leg and pain in my left hip.
• Day 19- I visited the chiropractor again. The only thing he wanted to do was adjust my neck since my legs were having such spasms. His work from the previous day had helped me enough that I was able to walk into the office without help. 
• Day 20 Wednesday March 6, 2013;  I was feeling good enough that I pushed and made it into my office slowly, slowly walking from the parking lot to the building. I was able to be in the office about 30 or 45 minutes before my left leg started going into deep spasms. I tried to walk back out to my car but had to be pushed out to the car by wheelchair because I was completely unable to walk that distance. After lunch I had an appointment with an NAET practitioner who specializes in eliminating the body's reactive approach to various things. It was all I could do to make it from the parking garage to his office because my legs were in such deep spasms. As I spoke with him he felt very confident he could treat and help me overcome my reaction to Cipro. The treatment merges together a number of specialties including chiropractic, acupuncture, and  Chinese energy theories. He said that as we treated Cipro it would send a signal to my body to flush the Cipro from my system. He warned that as the Cipro flushed from my system that I would probably re-experience many of the Cipro symptoms. Using a muscle strength test he checked to see what my body was reacting to and confirmed it was reacting to Cipro in addition to magnesium. He said my bodies' inability to properly utilize magnesium would help explain why it was not doing much so far to help my muscles recover. The plan was to treat the Cipro followed by additional substances. The treatment was uniquely simple- while holding a vial of what is essentially concentrated Cipro he massaged my spine followed by acupuncture treatment. Within a couple of hours my muscle spasms had stopped enough that I was able to go to Wednesday night church.
•  Day 21- Thursday March 7, 2013; Thursday morning the only symptom I had was pain in my hips and muscles that felt like they might try to cramp if I exerted too hard so I was able to go into my office to work. I was able to walk into the office, work all morning, go to the chiropractor, go into a grocery store to get some lunch, and go back into the office after lunch and work all afternoon. The improvement after the NAET practitioner visit was dramatic. 
• Day 22- Friday March 8, 2013; Friday morning my legs tried to start cramping followed by some of the most severe stomach cramps I have had in years- way worse than the pain I had with the diverticulitis. These symptoms came and went within a 3-4 hour period. I had my second NAET visit where he said we were probably about halfway through treating me for Cipro. He warned that I would continue to experience Cipro symptoms off and on for a couple of days. By evening my hip pain had increased but the muscle spasms were still gone. 
• Day 23- Saturday March 9, 2013; Hip pain continued all day so I stayed off my feet for most of the day. By evening the hip pain had become troublesome enough that I decided to try the pain relief cream at bedtime my medical doctor had ordered for me which had come via UPS earlier in the week.
• Day 24- Sunday March 10, 2013; I awoke with the most severe hip pain I have had so far. My leg muscles felt tight but the problem was in my hips. I was barely able to walk because of the pain. One thing I had found helpful was to read through other people's blogs who were experiencing Cipro side effects to see what symptoms they were and were not having. Midway through the day I ran across a blog that had a conversation about how some Cipro sufferers had discovered that they were getting an almost reverse reaction when they took pain relief medicines which may mean the pain relief cream I applied Saturday evening could be my hip pain culprit. Later in the evening I spent some time carefully stretching my leg muscles and taking a hot bath and experienced some pain relief by the time I went to bed. This just firmed up my decision to avoid pain relievers of any type- I have not taken anything including Advil or Ibuprofen other than the prescription muscles relaxer and the pain relief cream since prior to the start of Cipro- and interestingly enough both of these medicines seem to have produced bad side effects. Also in a crazy turn of events my chiropractor who I had been seeing for the last 9 years passed away over the weekend.
• Day 25- Felt better and was able to work part of the day however by lunch time I realized my left hip and upper leg were numb after having sat at my desk. The numbness took a couple of hours to subside. Went to a new chiropractor after lunch who did a full evaluation and confirmed there were muscular issues going on the left leg. His treatment helped. I was up the rest of the afternoon and evening with guests at our house. 
• Day 26- Tuesday March 12, 2013; Went to my medical doctor for an EKG due to chest pains on the left side of my chest. Sitting in the waiting room and then the exam room made me realize my left hip was very sore.  The EKG turned out fine. My doctor suspects the same thing causing muscular problems in my left leg is also causing problems in the muscles in my chest. I tried various ways to sit after the doctor's office but the dull pain was intense enough that I was unable to sit for more than about 5 minutes. Had intense hip pain the rest of the day.
• Day 27- Wednesday March 13, 2013; Intense hip pain continued until my visit to the NAET practitioner. After my visit the hip pain subsided for the first time in a couple of weeks. I was able to be up doing things for the rest of the day. 
• Day 28- Muscles in left leg are so worn out from being up the previous day that I was down with fatigue and overworked muscles. 
• Day 29- Friday March 15, 2012; Moderate hip pain and muscle fatigue causing me to walk very slowly with a limp today. Had blood drawn testing for magnesium, calcium, potassium, muscle enzymes, vitamin D plus a few other things. Sold my road bike to cover medical expenses- I can tell based upon the rate I am improving that it will be a while before I am able to ride again. 
• Day 30 &31- Intense hip pain kept me off my feet the entire day. The farthest I could hobble was 15 or 20 feet. 
• Day 32- Monday March 18, 2013; Woke with less hip pain so I was able to walk carefully. Visited allergy doctor who confirmed the treatment on Friday March 15 probably triggered the hip pain over the weekend. Got back some of my blood test results which showed I was Vitamin D deficient. 
• Day 33- Tuesday March 19, 2013; Walking enough to get around but with very limited range before severe hip pain would start. Had to use a wheelchair to get to the Sugar Grove building addition ribbon cutting. Chiropractor appointment. 
• Day 34- Wednesday March 20, 2013; Walking with limited range due to hip pain. NAET appointment and chiropractor appointment. 
• Day 35- Thursday March 21, 2013; began having cramps and spasms in both arms. Very worn out when I got home at dinner time. Chriopractor appointment. 
• Day 36- Friday March 22, 2013; continued hip pain with more than about 5 minutes on my feet. continued arm and muscle spasms, my right arm kept cramping every time I used the computer mouse. Overall high level of fatigue. NAET and chiropractor appointment. The up side is that this is the 5th day in a row that I was not laid out flat of my back. 
• Day 37- Saturday March 23, 2013; Experienced sudden significant improvement in hip pain Saturday afternoon. 
• Day 38- Sunday March 24, 2013; Was finally able to attend church on Sunday morning. Everything went pretty well except I had alot of discomfort in my hip and back trying to sit for an hour. I was then able to be up all day Sunday. By Sunday evening my left leg had begun to burn with what felt like alot of lactic acid. 
• Day 39- Monday March 25, 2013; Chiropractor and NAET appointment. NAET practitioner treated for lactic acid with distinct improvements in my left leg after the treatment. 
• Day 40- Tuesday March 26, 2013; Did great all day but by Tuesday evening having lots of hip pain. 
• Day 41- Wednesday March 27, 2013; Had hip pain all night. Chiropractor and NAET appointment. NAET practitioner treated for Vitamin C and said that C is a culprit in joint pain. Have to avoid Vitamin C for 24 hours. Alot of hip pain and an upset stomach so spent the rest of the day on my back. 
• Day 42- Thursday March 27, 2013; Continuing hip pain. Almost passed out when I moved both legs wrong and felt like both hip joints were about to pop out of place. 
•  Day 43- Friday March 29, 2013; slight fatigue in leg muscles but was able to walk with very little problem all day. Began to develop a little bit of pain and cramping in right forearm. Had a preacher from Midland contact me and ask me to talk to one of his members who took Cipro and is having similar problems- this person is two and one half months into the journey and experiencing severe muscle, tendon, and joint problems in his arms, back, and Achilles tendon.
• Day 44- Saturday March 30, 2013; Was able to walk well enough that for the first time since this whole ordeal began I was able to go somewhere with the family for fun, went to hang out at the coast at Freeport. Walked about 1.5 miles to the end of a pier and back. Had to stop and rest a couple of times but managed to pull it off. Hurt hips a couple of times when I moved my legs from side to side- hip joint will only move forward and backward without intense pain. Right arm continued with spasms and cramping. Noticed that my oposable right thumb was not opposing! It would not let me put any pressure on it without pain.
• Day 45- Sunday March 31, 2013; Was able to walk enough that I was at both worship services at church. Had a great conversation with Jonathon O'Mally Sunday morning talking about how to endure ongoing pain. My right arm continued to cramp and hurt. By late afternoon my muscles were beginning to feel fatigued and I had started developing muscle tremors in my lower back and around my tail bone. I also made the mistake a few times of moving my leg side to side which caused momentary intense pain in my hip like it was coming out socket.
• Day 46- Monday April 1, 2013; Had Makai home from school with me. Went to chiropractor appt and then ran a couple of errands with Makai. By 10:30 AM I was having muscle spasms in my left leg, lower back, around my tail bone, right forearm, and right hand but the hip pain had not returned so I was still able to walk at a slower pace but overall it was a rough day.
• Day 47- Tuesday April 2, 2013; Had arm, hand, lower back, hip & tail bone, and left leg tremors and cramps throughout the night and up into the day. The symptoms that exist now are completely different than what existed a week ago which is why I am now being able to walk. There is still hip pain but it is a different kind of numb pain instead of the intense pain that magnified to a point of being unbearable with walking.
• Day 48- Wednesday April 3, 2013; Cramps and spasms in right arm and left leg. Left leg cramps severe enough that I could barely walk. Allergy treatment for minerals including magnesium which is important in muscle and nervous system function and which the Cipro antibiotic disrupted in my body. Therefore I am anxious to see if this will provide some continued improvement.
• Day 49- Thursday April 4, 2013; Right forearm cramping with use. Left achilles tendon stiff and hurting. Around 5 PM the muscle cramping stopped and the pain in my left thumb joint stopped.
• Day 50- Friday April 5, 2013; woke up feeling great able to walk at a full stride with no symptoms. Chiropractor visit and NAET visit treating minerals. Felt great until late in the evening when I started getting some muscle pain in my lower back and left hip.
• Day 51- Saturday April 6, 2013; Day began rough and progressively got worse. Right arm cramping, right thumb pain in the joint with any use, left leg muscle spasms and cramps in every muscle from the waist down, dull pain in the left hip, mild pain in the left achilles tendon which all increase exponentially after being up on my feet for more than about 5 minutes. Left hip develops dull pain after sitting for more than a couple of minutes. Remembered late in the day that the NAET guy warned that the Friday treatment could stir up some of the symptoms as my body detox's- he was right.

this journal is now being updated on a new page: http://timshoulders.blogspot.com/p/cipro-side-effects-journal.html